The Joe Rogan of the Left

In the never-ending quest to explain their utter failure at getting a message through to the public, Democratic politicians and white-shoe consultants have seized on one particular idea. They need a "Joe Rogan Of The Left" — a social media influencer who can crack the code and convince America's youths that Chuck Schumer is cool. Or swell. Or a skibidi toilet ... if that's a good thing.

I'm not going to be that guy. I'm four decades too old, way too skeptical of people shouting about aliens, and unwilling to engage in 24/7 grift. In fact, I don't even know anyone who would make a good candidate for JROTL, mostly because the whole concept is painfully stupid.

However, even though I was born in the Mesozoic, I do know what anyone who wants to reach out to young people should say: Billionaires took your money. They took your chance to buy a home. They took your chance at a good education. They stole your opportunities.

Billionaires took the things you want in life. If you really want those things, you have to take them back.

That's the message. That's the whole message. A successful JROTL should say that every day, not just to reach America's frustrated young white men, but people of every age, race and gender.

Not only did billionaires take your home, your education, and your dreams, they're still at it. Republicans are working hard to pass a bill that takes even more away from you and gives it to the people who already have so much.

Late-stage capitalism is a wealth-concentration engine, focused on vacuuming up every dollar and putting it in as few hands as possible. Republicans are helping that vacuum suck.

How does a tiny fraction of the population get away with this? They do it by dividing the other 99% of Americans against themselves. They turn us against other working people who happen to be women. Other working people who happen to be Black. Working people who happen to be gay.

That's the theme of Joe Rogan of the not-left. That's the theme of Andrew Tate. That's the song played by all these professional jackasses every day, even when it sounds like they're talking about the proper size for your morning poop.

Every single day, Joe Rogan and a host of other influencers spread out across social media to tell young people that their problems exist because Black people exist, gay people exist, immigrants exist. Women exist. Go forth and hate.

Their message is clear: It's not you, it's them.

And they're right. It is them. Only "them" isn't people of color or someone who happens to be LGBTQ. Them is billionaires. Them is funding this message of hate because they just f'ing love it when the little people turn on each other. Them is laughing at us all.

As of 2023, the top 1% control more wealth than everyone in the working class and middle class combined. But they don't have everything. Not yet. So suck, suck, suckety suck they are coming for what you have left. Joe Rogan and everyone else who just can't wait to slober over Elon Musk and Donald Trump is lubing up that vacuum.

The not-left keeps wanting to declare that there was some time in the past when America was better. That's the whole "again" part of MAGA. And in some ways, they're right. There really was a time when it was easier for many Americans to buy a home and easier to find a good job. A time when many Americans were more secure in their future.

But the reason that things were better for those Americans wasn't because that time came double-dipped in racism and misogyny. It was better because that time came with strong unions, vast investments in education and infrastructure, and tax rates that meant money flowed to first homes rather than super yachts. .

In 1960, the richest 1% controlled around 20% of American wealth. That's still too much, but it was significantly down from previous decades. At the peak of what many of those people shouting about MAGA would consider America's golden age, wealth was more evenly distributed than at any time in the previous century. The post-war boom coincided with post-war economic policies that were directly aimed at reducing inequity. That's what made it boom.

We can do that again. And we can do it without the racism and misogyny that made that same period so horrific for millions.

Billionaires took your wealth. You can take it back.

Maybe start by primarying every politician who doesn't get that. Like the guys who would rather whine about their need for a "Joe Rogan of the left." Because getting the progressive message out to the public is their job. And if they can't do it, they need to go.